Category: Family

  • Memorable Family Legends: The Mischief of Grandpa AD Mac

    Memorable Family Legends: The Mischief of Grandpa AD Mac

    Every family has its legends. Some are remembered for wisdom, some for business success, and some — like my Grandpa AD Mac — are remembered for sheer mischief. He and Grandma Irene built a Michigan bean business, but what really made them unforgettable were the stories. The kind of hilarious family stories that get passed around at reunions until everyone’s laughing so hard they can’t breathe.

    As Grandpa used to say:

    You kids bring me double happiness — happy when you come, and happy when you go.”

    That line set the tone. Grandpa was quick with a quip, fearless with a prank, and always looking for his next audience.

    Bean Company Promotion

    By day, the Macs ran a fast-growing bean processing business. Their slogan?

    No marketing team, no fancy campaigns — just beans and word of mouth.

    But outside the factory, Grandpa AD’s reputation rested less on beans and more on belly laughs. If you were looking for the best family pranks, you didn’t need YouTube — you just needed Grandpa.

    The Funeral Lady

    Grandpa’s best friend was a small-town funeral director with a peculiar problem. A little old lady had made a habit of scanning the daily obituaries, attending services for people she barely knew, and helping herself to the post-service sandwiches and lemonade. She’d lean into the casket, mutter her usual “I knew him well,” then head for the buffet.

    The funeral director had had enough. Grandpa had a plan.

    They staged a fake wake. Grandpa put on his best suit, climbed into a casket, and waited.

    Sure enough, the lady signed the guest book, dabbed a few tears, and stepped up to the casket. “I knew him well,” she whispered.

    That’s when Grandpa popped straight up like a jack-in-the-box and barked:

    “THE HELL YOU DID!”

    Needless to say, the freeloading stopped. It remains one of the funniest grandpa stories we tell.

    The Hospital Trick

    Pranks weren’t reserved for friends — nurses and doctors got their share too.

    During a hospital stay, Grandpa received his breakfast tray: eggs, ham, toast, and a glass of apple juice. Beside it, the nurse left a sterilized beaker.

    “Mr. McIntyre, enjoy your meal. We’ll need a urine sample.”

    Grandpa ate everything except the juice, which he carefully poured into the beaker.

    When the nurse returned, she smiled.

    “Perfect, thank you.”

    But as she reached for the beaker, Grandpa grabbed it back.

    “Wow, this looks so good, I’m going to run it through twice.”

    The poor nurse nearly fainted. I can only imagine the laughter in the shift-change report. Another classic from our prankster grandpa.

    The Great Denture Swap

    Grandpa’s crowning prank came at the Michigan Bean Association convention, held at a historic resort. These conventions were less about beans and more about drinking, joking, and giving competitors a hard time.

    One night, around 3 a.m., Grandpa slipped the front desk clerk a twenty-dollar bill and borrowed the master key. Room by room, he snuck in and quietly swapped people’s false teeth.

    Morning came. Farmers woke up, reached for their dentures, and panicked. The hangovers didn’t help. Some were convinced they’d had strokes or nerve damage.

    Eventually, suspicions landed on Grandpa — who else could it be? The solution was both practical and hilarious: all the teeth were laid out on the hotel dining room table. Bleary-eyed guests circled the spread, trying them on like mismatched eyeglasses until they found their own.

    It was disgusting. It was ridiculous. And it was pure Grandpa Mac. If you’re looking for the best family pranks of all time, this one deserves a spot on the list.

    Closing Time

    Grandpa had a line for every occasion, including unwanted guests who overstayed their welcome. After hours of listening to stories about 401(k)s, gas mileage, or grandkids who should have been the starting quarterback, he’d glance at Grandma and boom:

    Irene, we need to go to bed so these people can go home!”

    And just like that, the night was over.

    Legacy of Laughter

    Looking back, what strikes me most is not just the pranks themselves, but what they meant. Grandpa believed laughter was medicine, mischief was an art, and family stories were the glue that held us together.

    His Michigan bean business might have fed the town, but it was his humor that fed the soul. Even today, whenever we tell these funny grandpa stories, the room feels lighter — like Grandpa just pulled another prank and is laughing from the corner.

    In the end, that was his real legacy: joy. And that’s worth more than all the beans in Michigan.

  • The Rhythm Method

    Of course, it all started with our parents. They met on a blind date.

    Bill was always quiet and passive. Ginny was the life of the party—a little crazy, a great storyteller.

    After their third date, Ginny started calling him “Wallet.” This went on for weeks. Bill couldn’t figure it out. Did she think he had money? That he came from money? He was completely confused. Finally, he got up the courage to ask:

    “Why do you keep calling me Wallet?”

    Ginny thought, What’s with this guy? How dense can he be?

    She finally blurted it out:

    “How could a family with the last name Fold name their son Bill?”

    (It’s actually Voll.) All his cards were signed “Wallet” for 60+ years.

    The Drake Hotel

    A vintage scene outside The Drake Hotel, featuring a middle-aged couple standing together, smiling at the camera, each hol...

    They didn’t waste any time with the Catholic rhythm method.

    Nancy was conceived on the honeymoon, and the rest of us came one after another.

    We once sat down with Mom and asked, “OK, how did this whole thing unfold?”

    She said:

    “Well, Nancy was born, and after three months of no sleep, baby food, and changing diapers, I just needed a break.

    Dad and I would go to the Drake Hotel in Chicago for the weekend.

    And every time I came back from the Drake—I was pregnant.”

    So yes, we were all conceived at the Drake Hotel.

    A few years ago, we even made a trip up to the Drake bar for a “conception celebration.”

    And every Father’s Day, we’d tell Dad:

    “Thank God you didn’t take piano lessons… or we wouldn’t be here.”

    Nancy, The Trailblazer

    Nancy, the oldest, always led by example.

    At just seven years old, she taught us how to take empty bleach bottles, fill them almost to the top with water, shove in some dry ice, cap them, run, and watch them blow up.  At the next parent / teacher meeting, the nun said “ Nancy is a great student, well behaved but has the wildest imagination.  When asked about exciting things she did over the summer, her reply:  I taught my brothers and sisters how to blow up bleach bottles”

    she also was a great witness of her Catholic teachings—by example.

    She believed Catholicism was the only ticket to Heaven, so she felt sorry for the Altman, our Jewish neighbors. She took them cookies because, as she put it, “they weren’t going to make the bus.”

    Nancy’s biggest moment of faith came one Good Friday.

    She had us build a wooden cross, dig a hole in the backyard, and plant it upright. 

    Then she convinced our 7-year-old Protestant neighbor, Kim Lehman, to strip to his shorts, tied him to the cross, and put ketchup on his stomach. This was the view from the Jews who got the cookies. 

    She also conducted dozens of animal funerals with the rest of us as mourners. 

    Dogs, cats, chipmunks, birds, turtles, goldfish, guinea pigs—even an alligator. She would gather every shoebox she could find for caskets. 
    Every one had a full procession, prayer, and burial.  And of course she conducted funeral masses with a vestment sheet, wine glass chalice with grape juice. She would chug the “wine” and administer Wonder Bread hosts. 

    The entire backyard had to be resodded because of multiple graves before the home would sell. 

    That’s the beginning of our story. There’s a lot more to come. 

    Stay tuned.