You Cant Make this stuff up

Category: Life & Laughs

  • When Trump Leaves Office, America Could Face a Mental-Health Crisis!!


    PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING: TRUMP WITHDRAWAL SYNDROME — Are You Prepared?”

    I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I think America is completely unprepared for what happens when Donald Trump finally leaves office.

    Forget the political transition.

    I’m worried about the millions of Americans who will suddenly have absolutely nothing to do.

    For more than a decade, Trump has provided Americans with a reason to wake up every morning.

    If you love him, you turn on Fox News to see what he did.

    If you hate him, you turn on MSNBC or MeidasTouch to see what he did.

    If you’re somewhere in the middle, you turn on CNN to find eight people arguing about what he did.

    Then you check Facebook to see what your friends think about what he did.

    There are actually numbers behind this insanity.

    One analysis found that from roughly January 2025 through June 2026, the word “Trump” appeared onscreen for more than 8,000 combined hours on just CNN, MSNBC/MS NOW and Fox News.

    That’s THREE networks.

    It doesn’t include ABC, CBS, NBC, Newsmax, late-night television, newspapers, podcasts, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook or MeidasTouch.

    A Harvard study found Trump was the subject of 41% of national television news stories it examined during his first 100 days in office—roughly three times the normal presidential share

    When Trump finally leaves the political stage, the economic fallout could be devastating.

    Corporate Reorganizations (Let Go’s) 

    Late-night comedy writers.

    Cable-news producers.

    Political commentators.

    Pollsters.

    Political consultants.

    Attorneys.

    Authors.

    Publishers.

    YouTubers.

    Podcasters.

    Fact-checkers.

    Security companies.

    Hotel ballrooms.

    Rally organizers.

    Stage builders.

    Teleprompter companies.

    Sign makers.

    Hat makers.

    T-shirt printers.

    Courtroom sketch artists.

    This could become a national mental-health emergency.

    Psychologists will need emergency training in a completely new disorder:

    Trump Withdrawal Syndrome

    Symptoms may include:

    Turning on Fox News every 15 minutes hoping something happened.

    Repeatedly refreshing MeidasTouch.

    Uncontrollable urges to type angry comments on Facebook.

    Watching CNN for three consecutive hours despite the fact that nobody has said anything.

    And the most frightening symptom of all:

    Suddenly realizing you have hobbies.

    You start talking to your spouse

    The government needs to start preparing now.

    Because when Donald Trump finally leaves the stage, America isn’t just going to lose a president.

    We’re going to lose one of the country’s largest suppliers of outrage, entertainment, arguments, television ratings, books, lawsuits, podcasts, political merchandise and family fights.

    Democrats won’t know who to hate.

    Republicans won’t know who to defend.

    Cable news won’t know what to cover.

    Late-night comedians won’t know what to write.

    And millions of Americans may finally discover something terrifying:

    They’re bored.

    This could be serious.

    Please…

    Check on your politically addicted friends.

  • Are you a Felix or Oscar?

    Many of us are north of 50 and have had enough time to determine. Who are the Oscars and who are the Felixes in your family?  You might recall the hilarious series “The Odd Couple” , 2 divorced guys living together with Felix being the perfectionist and Oscar the slob and the non stop adventures with this type of relationship. 

    Here is an overview of the respective personalities: 

    Hotel 

    Felix

    • Checks in for one night.
    • Hangs up every shirt.
    • Folds socks and underwear into perfect little squares.
    • Makes the bed before leaving for breakfast.

    Oscar

    • Staying one month.
    • Half the clothes are still in the suitcase.
    • The other half are decorating the floor.
    • Can’t find his toothbrush by Day Two.

    Car

    Felix

    • Washes it every Saturday.
    • Gas tank never below half.
    • Replaces floor mats and changes oil monthly.
    • Registration and proof of insurance documents – Laminated in a zippered pouch 

    Oscar

    • Running on fumes.
    • Three coffee cups of stains on the seats 
    • #10 tattered envelope has 4 past years of registrations with the latest expired 
    • Petrified McDonalds fries – 2019 under the seat 

    Refrigerator

    Felix

    • Labels leftovers with description, date and time. 
    • Everything organized by expiration date, carbs and calories 
    • Ice maker produces  perfectly square, clear ice

    Oscar

    • Opens the refrigerator, sniffs, “ Still smells okay.”
    • Jar of jam with a thank you note from Jesus to the 3 wiseman
    • Fruit drawer is a penicillin factory 
    • Ice maker is a glacier 

    Remote Control

    Felix

    Always puts it back.

    Oscar

    Where’s Waldo? 

    My wife is pure Felix and I am a pure card carrying Oscar. 

    She makes sure there are 2 softener sheets in the dryer,  

    I contribute a couple sharpies quarterly 

    The kitchen and dishes sparkle,

     My empty, unwashed smoothie cup will need a sandblaster 

    Her clothes are perfectly separated and folded in a drawer

     Mine looks like waste management trash day

    Now it’s your turn.

    Which one are you?

    Better yet…

    Who is the biggest Oscar or Felix in your family?  An example? 

    ⸻

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