Are you a Felix or Oscar?

Many of us are north of 50 and have had enough time to determine. Who are the Oscars and who are the Felixes in your family?  You might recall the hilarious series “The Odd Couple” , 2 divorced guys living together with Felix being the perfectionist and Oscar the slob and the non stop adventures with this type of relationship. 

Here is an overview of the respective personalities: 

Hotel 

Felix

  • Checks in for one night.
  • Hangs up every shirt.
  • Folds socks and underwear into perfect little squares.
  • Makes the bed before leaving for breakfast.

Oscar

  • Staying one month.
  • Half the clothes are still in the suitcase.
  • The other half are decorating the floor.
  • Can’t find his toothbrush by Day Two.

Car

Felix

  • Washes it every Saturday.
  • Gas tank never below half.
  • Replaces floor mats and changes oil monthly.
  • Registration and proof of insurance documents – Laminated in a zippered pouch 

Oscar

  • Running on fumes.
  • Three coffee cups of stains on the seats 
  • #10 tattered envelope has 4 past years of registrations with the latest expired 
  • Petrified McDonalds fries – 2019 under the seat 

Refrigerator

Felix

  • Labels leftovers with description, date and time. 
  • Everything organized by expiration date, carbs and calories 
  • Ice maker produces  perfectly square, clear ice

Oscar

  • Opens the refrigerator, sniffs, “ Still smells okay.”
  • Jar of jam with a thank you note from Jesus to the 3 wiseman
  • Fruit drawer is a penicillin factory 
  • Ice maker is a glacier 

Remote Control

Felix

Always puts it back.

Oscar

Where’s Waldo? 

My wife is pure Felix and I am a pure card carrying Oscar. 

She makes sure there are 2 softener sheets in the dryer,  

I contribute a couple sharpies quarterly 

The kitchen and dishes sparkle,

 My empty, unwashed smoothie cup will need a sandblaster 

Her clothes are perfectly separated and folded in a drawer

 Mine looks like waste management trash day

Now it’s your turn.

Which one are you?

Better yet…

Who is the biggest Oscar or Felix in your family?  An example? 

I

Comments

Leave a comment