Tag: love

The Humor in Funerals: A Unique Perspective

Over the years, Celebrations of Life have become the norm—and for good reason. Instead of gloomily hovering around a casket, reading flower labels like they’re scorecards, and hearing “Sorry for your loss” a hundred times, we started doing things differently.

Honestly, I never liked that phrase. Loss? That’s what the bank says when they review your business profit and loss statements and deny your loan. Mom or Dad isn’t a loss—they’re a person.

The Oddities of Funerals

The funeral industry has its own language and rituals that can feel absurd if you stop to think about it:

The Showing: “We’re going to John’s showing” sounds like a movie premiere. The body isn’t a first-run film.

Guest Books: Has anyone ever later said, “Let’s dig out Aunt Dorothy’s wake book in the attic and review who was there and who should have been there.

The Wake: Another misnomer—nobody in a casket is waking up.

Obituaries: Filled with saintly resumes—“Devoted father, pillar of the community, adored his Cocker Spaniel.” And that line about being “survived by” everyone? If you’re dead, you ain’t surviving anything.

Embalming

Should this be softened a bit? Maybe just Prepping the body for the “showing”?  Aunt Mildred got embalmed this afternoon. Sounds like she passed out at a college keg party.

Corpse

That doesn’t sound like much of a bucket list goal.  Yea George had a 30 year successful career in Customer Service at Geico and now he’s a corpse.

Casket/ Coffin

I thought they were the same. A casket is 4 sided box with handles, hinges, fancy tanned , polished metal,  fancy satin sheets, and a lifetime warranty.  A coffin is usually wood, no hinges so got to pop the top for the showing, the handles are for decor only. That could be a bit of a challenge for pall bearers. Sold “as is”.

No Shoes

Bodies, corpses, deceased are buried with no shoes.  Apparently after death feet swell and they don’t fit.  Shouldn’t be an issue.  Doubt anyone will be hoofing to the 7/11 for a slurpy.

Hearse

Do we really need a $150,000 Cadillac Beast with a police escort for a three-mile drive to the cemetery?

Who gets what Stuff

Before the first shovel hits dirt, the drama begins. Who’s gonna get what?  In our case,  mom, the grandma’s and aunts all had beautiful, expensive jewelry.  The sisters sucked those up like a used Hoover.

When  Grandpa died we boys expected a windfall.  Maybe 500 shares of stock. My younger brother had a downpayment on a Silverado  Diesel Duramax. Told the finance manager, after he gets his inheritance he was going to wire the funds and pick it up.

Well he got Grandpa’s 25th anniversary watch (with a cracked screen) celebrating 25 years with the family business. Also got a pair of cuff links with grandpas initials. Only money he got after the will was his deposit.

Celebrating Life, Our Way

We learned early that life is too short to be sad all the time.

When my sister had only a month to live from an incurable lung disease, we threw her a going-away party. Cocktails, dinner, singing, stories, laughter—and no one said “Sorry for your loss.” My brother gave her an urn as a parting gift, and even the priest called it the most incredible sendoff he’d ever witnessed.

When Dad died, we went off-script again. The hearse made a detour to our family home, and we turned his casket into a bar for champagne, funny stories, songs, and a final rendition of Happy Trails. Funeral staff looked on in shock—but that’s exactly what Dad would have wanted.

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Mom’s Wicker Casket

Mom was a character, and nothing could honor her like something truly unique. We went casket shopping, but nothing felt right. The cheap ones were tin cans. The Cadillac models? Rustproof and waterproof—but still wrong.

Then we remembered her love for white wicker furniture. For 50 years, our porch had been full of it. Could we find a wicker casket? My youngest brother found one online, overnight from San Francisco—but it arrived in natural color. Mom would have turned over in her grave.

Solution? My sister called auto body shops, claiming she had a “couch” to paint. Measurements were odd, but the painter went along with it. Soon, the shop had photos of Corvettes, Mustangs, and—a pristine white wicker casket.

The grandkids even created a jingle:

A tisket, a tasket, Grandma’s buried in a wicker casket.

It was perfect. Funny, heartfelt, and uniquely Mom.

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The Takeaway

Funerals don’t have to be gloomy, awkward productions. They can be celebrations of life, laughter, stories, and even a little chaos. Our family learned this the hard way—but the memories? Unforgettable.

Sometimes, the best sendoff isn’t about tradition. It’s about honoring the person—quirks, humor, and all. And yes, it might include a white wicker casket, champagne, and a song.

September 25, 2025
Memorable Family Legends: The Mischief of Grandpa AD Mac

Every family has its legends. Some are remembered for wisdom, some for business success, and some — like my Grandpa AD Mac — are remembered for sheer mischief. He and Grandma Irene built a Michigan bean business, but what really made them unforgettable were the stories. The kind of hilarious family stories that get passed around at reunions until everyone’s laughing so hard they can’t breathe.

As Grandpa used to say:

“You kids bring me double happiness — happy when you come, and happy when you go.”

That line set the tone. Grandpa was quick with a quip, fearless with a prank, and always looking for his next audience.

Bean Company Promotion

By day, the Macs ran a fast-growing bean processing business. Their slogan?

No marketing team, no fancy campaigns — just beans and word of mouth.

But outside the factory, Grandpa AD’s reputation rested less on beans and more on belly laughs. If you were looking for the best family pranks, you didn’t need YouTube — you just needed Grandpa.

The Funeral Lady

Grandpa’s best friend was a small-town funeral director with a peculiar problem. A little old lady had made a habit of scanning the daily obituaries, attending services for people she barely knew, and helping herself to the post-service sandwiches and lemonade. She’d lean into the casket, mutter her usual “I knew him well,” then head for the buffet.

The funeral director had had enough. Grandpa had a plan.

They staged a fake wake. Grandpa put on his best suit, climbed into a casket, and waited.

Sure enough, the lady signed the guest book, dabbed a few tears, and stepped up to the casket. “I knew him well,” she whispered.

That’s when Grandpa popped straight up like a jack-in-the-box and barked:

“THE HELL YOU DID!”

Needless to say, the freeloading stopped. It remains one of the funniest grandpa stories we tell.

The Hospital Trick

Pranks weren’t reserved for friends — nurses and doctors got their share too.

During a hospital stay, Grandpa received his breakfast tray: eggs, ham, toast, and a glass of apple juice. Beside it, the nurse left a sterilized beaker.

“Mr. McIntyre, enjoy your meal. We’ll need a urine sample.”

Grandpa ate everything except the juice, which he carefully poured into the beaker.

When the nurse returned, she smiled.

“Perfect, thank you.”

But as she reached for the beaker, Grandpa grabbed it back.

“Wow, this looks so good, I’m going to run it through twice.”

The poor nurse nearly fainted. I can only imagine the laughter in the shift-change report. Another classic from our prankster grandpa.

The Great Denture Swap

Grandpa’s crowning prank came at the Michigan Bean Association convention, held at a historic resort. These conventions were less about beans and more about drinking, joking, and giving competitors a hard time.

One night, around 3 a.m., Grandpa slipped the front desk clerk a twenty-dollar bill and borrowed the master key. Room by room, he snuck in and quietly swapped people’s false teeth.

Morning came. Farmers woke up, reached for their dentures, and panicked. The hangovers didn’t help. Some were convinced they’d had strokes or nerve damage.

Eventually, suspicions landed on Grandpa — who else could it be? The solution was both practical and hilarious: all the teeth were laid out on the hotel dining room table. Bleary-eyed guests circled the spread, trying them on like mismatched eyeglasses until they found their own.

It was disgusting. It was ridiculous. And it was pure Grandpa Mac. If you’re looking for the best family pranks of all time, this one deserves a spot on the list.

Closing Time

Grandpa had a line for every occasion, including unwanted guests who overstayed their welcome. After hours of listening to stories about 401(k)s, gas mileage, or grandkids who should have been the starting quarterback, he’d glance at Grandma and boom:

“Irene, we need to go to bed so these people can go home!”

And just like that, the night was over.

Legacy of Laughter

Looking back, what strikes me most is not just the pranks themselves, but what they meant. Grandpa believed laughter was medicine, mischief was an art, and family stories were the glue that held us together.

His Michigan bean business might have fed the town, but it was his humor that fed the soul. Even today, whenever we tell these funny grandpa stories, the room feels lighter — like Grandpa just pulled another prank and is laughing from the corner.

In the end, that was his real legacy: joy. And that’s worth more than all the beans in Michigan.

September 12, 2025