Category: Humor

  • “Who’s Going to Make This Stuff?”  America has $2 Trillion to Build.

    “Who’s Going to Make This Stuff?” America has $2 Trillion to Build.

    The investment commitments to rebuilding the U.S. manufacturing base are huge.

    One current estimate puts more than $2 trillion in U.S. mega-projects on the board—roughly double the level two years ago and about 10 times the announced spending five years ago.

    Let’s put $2 trillion into perspective.

    $2 trillion = $2,000 billion.

    That’s theoretically enough money to finance 2,000 projects costing $1 billion each.

    These include semiconductor fabs, battery plants, advanced manufacturing facilities, AI/data centers, energy projects and related infrastructure.

    Now look at the other end of the American economy.

    Small businesses employ approximately 63 million Americans—45.9% of the private-sector workforce—and generate about 43.5% of U.S. GDP.

    Here’s another way to understand a trillion dollars:

    $1 trillion could theoretically build 100,000 new $10 million businesses

    Big or small…

    We’ve got a problem.

    Actually, we’ve got two:

    1. Who’s going to build all this stuff?

    2. Once it’s built, who’s going to make all this stuff?

    WORKFORCE #1: BUILDING THE STUFF

    New industrial projects require electricians, welders, pipefitters, plumbers, HVAC technicians, millwrights, heavy-equipment operators, construction workers, engineers and construction managers.

    And America already needs enormous numbers of them.

    Projected annual U.S. job openings include approximately:

    Electricians: 81,000
    Industrial machinery mechanics, maintenance workers and millwrights: 54,200
    Welders: 45,600
    HVAC technicians: 40,100

    That’s approximately:

    220,900 OPENINGS EVERY YEAR

    in just those four occupational groups.

    And that doesn’t include plumbers, pipefitters, engineers, equipment operators and many of the other people required to construct industrial facilities.

    America can build a major plant. We’ve proven that.

    One $5 billion plant can employ thousands of construction workers and eventually recruit and train thousands of permanent employees.

    But imagine 50, 100 or 200 major projects all trying to do that during roughly the same period.

    They’re all looking for electricians, welders, pipefitters, engineers, technicians and construction managers from overlapping labor pools.

    And here’s the part we sometimes forget:

    A lot of those people already have jobs.

    Many work for the small and midsize businesses that employ nearly half of America’s private-sector workforce.

    So creating millions of jobs isn’t necessarily the hard part.

    Creating millions of additional qualified workers is.

    WORKFORCE #2: MAKING THE STUFF

    This may eventually be the bigger problem.

    Deloitte and The Manufacturing Institute estimate that American manufacturing could require as many as:

    3.8 MILLION WORKERS BETWEEN 2024 AND 2033.

    And as many as:

    1.9 MILLION OF THOSE JOBS COULD GO UNFILLED

    if the skills and applicant gaps aren’t solved.

    Where does that enormous need come from?

    Roughly:

    2.8 million — replacing workers aging out of the workforce

    760,000 — jobs resulting from industry expansion

    230,000 — jobs resulting from recent investment, reshoring, infrastructure and technology policies

    America isn’t merely trying to create a new manufacturing workforce.

    It also has to replace a huge retiring workforce at the same time.

    THE IRONY

    We’ve spent years asking:

    “How do we bring manufacturing back to America?”

    Now we’re spending enormous amounts of money doing exactly that.

    And we may discover that bringing the factories back was the easy part.

    Because factories don’t manufacture anything by themselves.

    People do.

    Or at least people operate, program, maintain and repair the increasingly automated machines that do.

    So maybe America’s next major infrastructure program shouldn’t just be about concrete, steel, semiconductor plants and billion-dollar factories.

    Maybe it needs to be about:

    Trade schools. Apprenticeships. Community colleges. Technical training.

    And getting young people interested in manufacturing again.

    Because you can announce a billion-dollar factory tomorrow.

    You can buy the land.

    You can pour the concrete.

    You can install the robots.

    But eventually somebody has to know how to wire the building, operate the equipment and fix the robot when it stops working.

    Great News—America Is Building Trillions of Dollars of New Industrial Capacity.

    Anybody know an electrician?

  • Date an Undesirable,  See the World

    Date an Undesirable, See the World

    Dating in a family of 11 was an adventure in itself.

    With six girls and five boys, dating sometimes became a family partnership. The girls attended an all-girls Catholic academy and Catholic college. The boys went to Notre Dame. Eventually, one brother married one of our sisters’ roommates, and three of the girls married Notre Dame guys.

    Apparently, we didn’t believe in looking too far from home.

    The $1 Chaperone

    One of the girls I met and dated was from Cuba, and she was beautiful. We hit it off and dated for three years.

    But with nice comes a price.

    Her parents had two mandates.

    First, she could date only good Catholic boys.

    I passed that test.

    Second, there had to be a chaperone on every date.

    That was a little more challenging.

    Fortunately, I had ten siblings.

    I offered one of them $1 to ride along, sit in the back seat while I picked up my date, and make sure her parents saw that their daughter was properly chaperoned.

    It worked beautifully.

    For a while.

    Soon $1 wasn’t enough. The going rate climbed to $1.25, then $1.50, then $2.

    By the six-month mark, even $2 couldn’t get me a chaperone.

    I was crushed.

    Then Christmas came—and so did a miracle.

    My family gave me a folding dummy dressed in a Notre Dame sweatshirt and stocking cap.

    Problem solved.

    Before picking up my date, I’d pull the dummy out of the trunk, unfold him, put him in the back seat and fasten his seat belt.

    There he sat, faithfully chaperoning us.

    It worked like a charm.

    For three years.

    The Girl Who Was Never Going Anywhere

    Mom was concerned about my sister Jenna.

    She had no interest in dating or proms. While the rest of us were going out, Jenna was perfectly happy at home in her jeans and saddle shoes, sitting at the dining room table.

    Mom worried:

    “She’s never going to meet anyone, get married, go anyplace or enjoy life.”

    Then we boys brought a few guys home from college to party after a football game.

    One was a quiet accounting major with dark-rimmed glasses and a pocket protector containing two pencils and a pen.

    He went gaga over Jenna.

    They got married.

    He quickly moved up the corporate ladder, eventually becoming a senior vice president with a global insurance firm.

    And while the rest of us live modestly and plan a trip to an amusement park in Ohio…

    Jenna is in Monaco on a Mediterranean cruise.

    The Mom Smell Test

    Whether we liked it or not, anyone we dated eventually had to pass Mom’s smell test.

    If Mom decided a boyfriend or girlfriend was an “undesirable,” she could be remarkably cunning and creative in trying to uproot the relationship.

    My sister Susan dated Lawrence for four years.

    Lawrence did not fit Mom’s preferred profile.

    Mom tried coercion.

    Grounding.

    Strict curfews.

    The silent treatment.

    Nothing worked.

    So Mom changed tactics.

    “Susan, we think it would be a great experience for you to spend six months abroad in a student exchange program.”

    Susan jumped at the opportunity.

    Off to England she went.

    Six months later she came home.

    And went right back to Lawrence.

    Mom wasn’t finished.

    “Susan, here’s another wonderful opportunity to learn and travel in Germany.”

    Off to Germany she went.

    She came home.

    Back to Lawrence.

    By now, the rest of us had figured out Mom’s international dating strategy.

    One of us finally asked:

    “Susan, are you really going to break up with Lawrence?”

    Susan had her answer:

    “Yes. As soon as I get back from Norway next year.”

    And that became one of the great lessons of growing up in our family:

    Date an undesirable. See the world!

    You can’t make this stuff up.